Learning by sharing:
Thank you for inviting feedback on your project. Here are my responses to the feedback prompts:
- Does the participant clearly state the problem?
- Does the participant describe the setting and/or who the learners are? The context of learning to perform music can be gained from the description, although it might have been helpful to have more description of the types of learners who are expected to receive the most assistance from what you are planning to do. Will “all piano students” equally benefit from your proposal, or would some types of students (younger, older, more novice, economically disadvantaged, and so on) be more likely to benefit?
- How thoughtfully does the participant explain why this area is challenging? This part is not clear to me. Why is it challenging, for example, to motivate students to keep practicing even when they become discouraged and do not feel they have the talent to continue? Or why is it challenging for teachers to recognize that talent can be encouraged in different ways? In either case, the solution you describe (which may be premature, and probably does not belong in this section) does not appear to be directly connected to the challenges you present. Perhaps consider including an example of a person who struggled with the problem you present, describing some of the barriers or obstacles they faced.
- Has the participant backed up their assertion with experiences, observations, etc.? It would be helpful to see a bit more informal description of your research instead of a hyperlink to an open source document. Another suggestion is to guide your reader to the part of the document that is most relevant to your presentation. If it is really just the whole document, a summary of what the document says would suffice.
- What other insights, if any, can you provide that would help your classmate refine or develop their focus? Perhaps back away a bit from jumping to the solution of redesigning a workspace at this point of your idea development process. Consider adding some information that would acknowledge why the problem has not already been addressed in the past (it is expensive, time-consuming, labor-intensive, and so on). These might form the motivation for your audience to consider how your eventual proposal is a good option for the future.
I infer from your statement of the problem that you see the challenge as being this: piano students become discouraged from continuing to devote time to develop expertise in the skill of piano playing. You mention learning music” but it seems to me you are specifically referring to learning to perform music, which is a slightly different idea. On the other hand, later in your description to refer to the need to cultivate talent (skill?) in other ways besides what is already done, using a different pedagogical approach/method. That is a different problem, though. The first seems to be presented as a motivation problem (for the student), and the other problem seems to be insufficient teaching technique (for the teacher, whether that teacher is an expert or a near-peer). I am not clear on which problem you are really intending to address.